A high comes crashing down...

I didn't think I'd be blogging again so soon, and I never thought it would be a blog about this but at 1am where else do I go?

I remember when my friend was murdered and my passion for music began...I remember when I found out my friend was killed and who was around to give a hug. I remember who hung around together and who grew apart...those first couple years of high school SUCKED! We were tested, some of us moved on...some of us fucked up, some of us forgot and someone us live...some of us didn't.

If you read my last blog you could feel the emotion coming from it I'm sure...this one I just can't. The moment I logged into Facebook I got the news (thank you C for letting us know) a friend I grew up with is no longer with us. It's funny how today I started it off angry that some people/friends aren't around as much....it was directed at many but it was a reminder to tell people you are here! Shane was there when I walked out of math wanting to just run away when I couldn't deal with Jesse's death. Shane was also there when two other friends died the next year. There were days we'd sneak off to the park and hang out and talk...he was one of the few I wondered about after all these years.

I went to the beach tonight, I've always felt at home there...next to the ocean. With a candle lite and talking to a good friend I tried to remember how I got past all of the things I have before.

Though I may cry and honestly this one is hard cause it's bringing old memories back I WILL be ok! I will tell myself that until I believe it! WHY? Cause I am ALWAYS there for myself...and I'm blessed for that.